Day # 70!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had a fiber tortilla with scrambled eggs, salsa and ketchup...BOMB!

Lunch: I have two thin sliced whole wheat pieces of bread with spicy mustard and turkey! Only 3 pts!

Not sure about dinner yet, but I think we're going out so I'll have to plan wisley...which I hate doing! I have 20 weeklies left and my daily, so I should be just fine.

Sorry to write so quickly....I have two days left of work before my big 5 year anniversary vacation trip to RENO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAHOO!!!! We leave next Monday, so my week starts FRESH!!! :)

Day # 68 & #69 Rain Rain Go Away!

My Tuesday was good....

I had my normal 3 point breakfast and a nice big salad for lunch. I Had an apple and a 90 calorie bar for a snack. I skipped dinner! My girlfriend and I went out to have drinks, so I skipped dinner to make up for the points...aye aye aye! It was a lot of fun, but I'm paying for it today... :(

I had my usual 3 point breakfast again and am going to go to the store to get this super WARM caesar sandwhich! I'm calculating 10 points for it, which I know is more than what it is, but just to be on the safe side I'd rather over estimate.

Dinner is going to be two fiber tortillas and a taco! I Have just enough poitns left.... :)


Have a great day everyone!!!

Day #67 Still......

I had a GREAT day of eating!!! I am so proud of myself.

Breakfast: Fried egg with two thin slices of whole wheat, salsa and spray butter
Snack: Strawberries and black berries
Lunch: 1 cup of progresso chicken noodle soup and a chicken breast
Dinner: two fried toastadas with beans, tomatoes, salsa and light sour cream. I also had 2 we gram fiber each wheat tortillas....I was HUNGRY! I'm stuffed.

5 points left for the day! I have skinny cows or fiber one cereal with ff milk...not sure which road I'm headed down yet...

Also, I road my stationary bike for 20 minutes! I was feeling the sweat, but only burned about 120 calories. :-)

Oh, happy day! On my way! Still 200lbs, but I am going to lose next week! I am on a mission and have two months to lose a little weight and keep it GOING!

Day #64-#67 BEAUTIFUL WEATHER!

What a gorgeous weekend. I can't get over how warm it was!

Friday: We went to an AWESOME Giants game!! It was really great weather taking the ferry over and wasn't too cold that night! We didn't get a snuggie, but that's okay! We had our Giants apparel on and had a great time anyway.

Saturday: We enjoyed a beautiful day at home in the morning and then made a trip over to Fairfield for Costco! That was a blast. Tj had to buy some stuff for his golf tournament that's going on this weekend. We went over t my friends house and hung outside and drank margarita's. It was very relaxing...we got home by 11:30, so it wasn't a late night.

Sunday: I layed out in the sun all day! I cleaned and cleaned and played with the pup outside for a while. It was another relaxing weekend....

Today is officially 2 months until i have to sqeeze into a bright red dress! I'm nervous and I haven't picked it up yet, so I have no idea if it will even fit now. She got me one size smaller, so I'm hoping it will fit! 16-18 is the size and last time she had to order me a sizze 20 and I'm the same size as last August... :(

Happy day everyone...

Day #60-#63 Happy Earth Day!!!!

It's been a rough week. Monday and Tuesday were okay, but yesterday was a disaster. I met with my friend to tell her about her husband cheating on her with my best friend, five years ago. She had found out from my friend and needed to get reasurrance. I feel awful, but what was I to do? I couldn't break a relationship like that or a marriage. Plus, 5 years ago I didn't know her or him. It's just a totally f'ed situation!!!! I've been a stress ball, crying mess and emotionally distraut for the last 3 weeks. What a road to hit!

It's Thursday and it's Earth Day! I wish I could have walked to work, but my drive is 45 minutes! lol- that would have taken me forever!

I'm hoping for a loss next Monday, but wouldn't be suprised if I stayed the same or even gained some. I've been an emotional MESS!!!!

Day #59 - Weigh In Change

OK, I think I'm going to change my WI day's to Mondays. I always feel like Monday's are a fresh start, so I'm hoping that will help me get through the week easier!

I'm 200lbs....:(

Today's Menu:

Breakfast: Fried Egg with whole wheat toast and spray butter = 3
Lunch: Fat free thousand island dressing, bacos, tomatoes, romaine lettuce and croutons = 4

Snack: Carrots = 0 (Didn't have very many)
Coffee: Fat free mocha = 3

Dinner: BBQ Boneless chicken breast, baked potato, sour cream/salsa, boiled veggies = 10

Dessert: Fiber 1 cereal, chopped banana, sliced strawberries and fat free milk = 6

Over 1 point...

Today was a pretty good day and tomorrow will be better!

:-)

Day #55-#58 (Weigh In)

Wow! I feel like it's been weeks since I"ve been able to write. Here's a breakdown of the last week I've had!

Thursday: Bad weigh in day. I'm 200lbs. I never thought I could disappoint myself so much in my life and I did. 200lbs. Really? Why and how could I do this to myself! Moving on...

Friday: This was a really busy day at work. I mean, busy! Good news though...we finally got our tax refund back! It took a while, because we had some missing information when we filed, but we finally got it! Our first time home buyer credit was granted to us and we had about a thousand in write offs. Afterwards, we went and celebrated with some friends which was really nice and we were home by 11:30pm and I was pooped.

Saturday. Very exciting day! It was my first trip ever to IKEA! Never had I ever gone before and I loved it. I had a mental breakdown though, when we got to the mirrors. Just looking at myself in the mirrors made me feel so disgusted. I was sickened at what I was looking at! My friends are supportive and always tell me how I'm beautiful on the inside out, but I just don't feel it. Saturday night, we went over to a friends house for a BBQ for his birthday. Surprisingly, all I had was a little breakfast, a few nibbles on some Chinese chow mien and a few bites of some appetizers. I just wasn't feeling hungry after looking at myself and feeling so fat for the last few days. It's been overwhelming, this feeling. I can't sleep and when I do sleep, I wake up unrested. Totally sucks!

Sunday: I stayed home and enjoyed such beautiful weather. It was amazingly gorgeous outside. I took all of my IKEA finds and decorated the house, cleaned and layed outside for a bit. We're trying to rip out some tile in our downstairs bathroom, so I got a little workout when I was hammering the crap out of the walls! It felt great and my hands/arms were shaking afterwards!

I'm looking forward to tomorrow, because I'm going to hit the track with some friends. I'm not going to worry about running the whole time, or even part of the time, because it's not worth it. I'll do what I can DO and I can't let other people judge me or think they're judging me. I over analyze everything and need to stop. So, THERE! :-)

My friend is progressing with this whole divorce thing...but it's still really sad. she and I had a meltdown on the way home on Saturday night, when it was just the two of us, so I know she's still hurting so badly inside. Ugh- Totally sucks that I can't take this pain away from her.

Hope all of you are doing well.....

Day #53 & #54 - Feeling Better!

Well, things are better over here! My friend is starting to get more pissed about this whole divorce situation, so she's progressing!

Tuesday was a crazy day at work. Totally nuts! My food has been pretty good this week, but definitely not what it should be. I'm nervous about this WI, but am going to take it as it is. I went for a 1.5 mile walk yesterday with a friend of mine at the track. Boy, that felt good. Even though we were chatting and sweating only a little, it was nice to get OUT and do something productive with myself! Afterwards, we went to checkers for dinner for Tj's moms birthday. I got a vegetarian calzone and only ate 1/4 of it! I packed 1/2 of the rest of it for lunch today and Tj and I split it. I made some 99% fat free popcorn for a snack and a breakfast burrito with a fat free tortilla. Already on my 3rd bottle of water, so wer'e good there too!

Hope you're all doing well.....

Day #52 - Super Nervous for Tuesday....

Today was a much better day emotionally, but I am still exhausted. Food was really good today. I made an egg muffin, packed a HUGE salad for lunch and some cereal for a snack. I didn't have dinner..I just wasn't hungry. I munched on some chips, very few, and some 99% fat free vegetarian chili with some sour cream and melted provolone cheese. I only had a little. I drank all of my water I needed for the day and just basically relaxed when I got home at 6:15. I have just been drained and I can't snap out of it. I need a good nights sleep to help make this week go by.

So, I'm really nervous. My two friends, one of which is getting the divorce, go to the track every day after work. Usually about 3-4 times a week. They run a full mile without stopping, maybe even 2, and they want me to join them. I can barely run 1-2 laps without dying. I'll run with them, but then I know I'll be walking by myself afterwards and feeling like a loser. I know they'll be supportive, but they're the type of girls to get a LITTLE bit of satisfaction out of it that they're in great shape. I know one of them will say...oh, poor girl, she can't even run a lap without dying! It sucks, and they are my best friends, but I know how they can be. It's not like they mean to be rude, but I just know what they would be thinking. If that makes any sense! ha ha, it's hard to explain.

Anyway, I'm hoping to not lose sleep over going for a run with them tomorrow, so we'll see how it goes. I'm kind of freaking out a bit, and I shouldn't be, so tell me not to be! ha ha, need reassurance!! :)

Hope you're all having a great day/night and I"ll try and write more tomorrow. I need to snap out of this eat whatever I want and feel sorry for myself PHASE!!!!

Day #46-#51 EMOTIONALLY DRAINED....

Well on Thursday morning, my best girl told me she and her husband (after having an 11 year relationship, but only married 1.5), is getting a divorce. He cheated on her on quite a few occassions and he's just now telling her about it. It has been SUCH an emotional roller coaster the last few days. I'm mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted for her and can't believe she has to go through all of this. I haven't cried so much in my life! Just seeing her so upset and not being able to help her fix things, really sucks. We've been there for her every night since she's found out, and I have to say, she has improved drastically. We went to her house yesterday to clear everything out and move to her parents house. She has tons of wedding gifts that were still in the boxes and a ton of furniture. She took everything nice and left him with crap. She cleaned him out. The really sucky part of yesterday, was he was in Reno with this girl he's been cheating on her with! She was disgusted and just felt sick to her stomach. After she's starting to tell everyone about it, I see it getting easier and easier for her little by little...She was finally able to sleep last night, which really made me feel good. She hasn't been sleeping or eating and just looks so weak. Ugh! Men suck sometimes!

i'm starting to work out next week, but I honestly can barely roll out of bed at 7am and I have to be at work at 9! we have a 45 minute drive to work every day, so it's tough to get home late and get up early. I literally get home around 6:00 every night and by the time I'm done with dinner, laundry and relaxing for 20 minutes, it's time for bed! I think if I started a routine of working out for an hour during work, it would help me not think about having to work out in the morning or after work when I'm exhausted. You know? I think it will be easier for me to take a break from work and get out there to do my normal power walk/run. I'd love to start this next week, but I'm freaking out about the warm weather. I hate when it's swealtering outside and I need to work out! I would love to buy a treadmil and work out in an air conditioned room! I know if I had a treadmil, I would be on that thing like crazy. Nobody can see me, I'm in the comfort of my own home, etc. That's all I worry about. I just need to buy one and get it over with!

I may not be blogging as much, since all of this craziness is happening with my friend, but i'm going to try to keep it together with my weight. I'm not doing good at all with my eating and I know I need to get back on it before I completely lose control....

This rain sucks! :(

Day #44 & #45- Happy Egg Day!!!

Yesterday was fun. I baked ALL day!! I made homemade biscuits, cupcakes with snickers melted in the middle (and I didn't even eat one!) and Tj deep fried a turkey and made a lower fat scalloped potato dish. It was awesome! Snacking was a bit tough, but I made sure I stuck with the olives, carrots and tomatoes and stayed away from the awesome garlic cheese dip my mom makes! I had a few nibbles....but was careful with my portions.

I have been trying to meet a goal each day to drink 5, 12oz water bottles full of water to keep me flushed out! Sunday, I maybe had 3 so I didn't meet that goal. Usually at work, it's a ton easier for me to drink water since I suck it down like nobody's business! Plus, it gets me up out of my chair to walk down the hall to the kitchen, so I'm not sitting on my butt all day!

I hope you all had a great Easter....I was feeling crampy yesterday and Aunt Flow somewhat visited this morning, Monday, so I'm sure my WI will be a gain. I feel SO incredibly puffy! Last night, I felt like I swallowed my neck! lol, it was intense. I would sit down in a chair and I just felt HUGE. LIke I ate a salt lick and it all settled in my belly! Bleh. It's that lazy feeling...

I packed my vanilla almond shredded wheat for breakfast, since I usually don't feel hungry when Flow is in town...kinda nice! I only get WEIRD cravings beforehand and eat like a horse!!!

I made a ham sandwhich for lunch and packed some carrots for a snack. I also packed a little bit of turkey left over from last night. We'll probably make some turkey tacos or turkey sandwhiches for dinner tonight, to try and use that stuff up. ;-)

Happy Monday!

Day #43 & #44 - YAHOO FOR THE WEEKEND!!

We stayed home on Friday night and watched that 2012 movie...super intense! Really over dramatized, but definitely interesting. It really makes me wonder, but I know nothing like that will ever happen. I've seen so many blogs on 2012 and what's going to happen, but it's all personal opinions, not anything based off of facts. Live life always like tomorrow is the last day, that's my motto!!!

Today, Saturday, Tj got up REALLY early to go golfing in this tournament with a few of his friends. He loves to golf and has so much dedication, but I would never get up at 6am on a Saturday! I guess if I had a hobby like that to do, then I would, but I was exhausted. I slept in until 10am with my pup and woke up to a beautiful day outside! It's still super chilly out, but nice when you sit in the sun. I'm going over to a friends house later, so that should be fun! We'll probably just have a few beers and relax. We have to get the house and everything ready for the family to come over on Sunday, which isn't until 5:30pm, so that will help give us some more time to prep. We're having a Thanksgiving Easter! Turkey, mashed potatoes and home baked biscuits with a nice salad. Tj loves to deep fry the turkey, so he will have fun doing that. It's SO incredibly good! I'll be portion conscious tomorrow.....for dessert, we're having diet root beer and low fat vanilla ice cream floats!! :) Cant' wait!

Happy weekend everyone!

Day #41 & #42 - April Fool's Day!

Well, we're heading in to the 40's for how long I've been on this struggle with the same weight and, yet again, I'm the same as last week. 197.6. I have been home the last two days and not working, just feeling like I needed a break! It's been nice to be at home, deepcleaning and playing with the pup. The boyfriend has been working, so he's been gone all day too, which I hate to say, it kind of nice! :)

Thursday-

Breakfast: Diced up potato with green bell peppers, fried egg and a piece of toast. I had some ketchup on my potatoes, but I didn't realize it's 30 calories for two tablespoons! My breakfast came out to 7 pointes, which is huge for my mornings. I always try to keep it 5 and under. I drank two 16oz things of water and am going to eat well all day today. I might take my pup for a walk, to get in a little exercise. Otherwise, it's another day at home cleaning and hanging out on the couch! Gosh I feel so lazy, but it feels so good to relax!= 7 points

Lunch: Kind of a weird lunch....I had like 4 servings of veggies and melted some ff cheese on them...super good.I also had a 1/2 cup of vegetarian 99% fat free chili with a piece of bread...really good. = 5 pointes

Snack: I had a huge bowl of this new almond vanilla shredded wheat with ff milk....awesome!! = 7 pointes (I know, but it was worth it!)

Dinner: I have 6 points left for dinner...

Happy April Fool's Day!

Day #40 - Trouble in Paradise......

I kept thinking today, I'm 26, struggling with weight loss, I'm over stressed and I over eat. How is that to live in my 20's or ever? Why do I always struggle with things that I put in my mouth? Why can't I just say NO. Why is that such a hard word to say and to live by it!? I have so much respect for all of you who are on your way in losing all your weight and making your goals. I know I'm trying to take the right path, but I always seem to take that trail that leads me to trouble!

Today, here's what I had to eat. I feel super huge today, so I'm a little grumpy! I'm pretty sure TOM is seeing me this week and I just want it to hurry up already and get it over with! Totally sucks and I feel super puffy with everything I eat.

Breakfast: Fried egg with a muffin - I added a little ff cream cheese to it and some ketchup with spray butter...5 pts.

Snack: light popcorn 3pts

Lunch: My co-worker offered me 1/2 of her ham and cheese sandwhich with all the good stuff on it. It was on some hot pepper bread, so I calculated 10 points for just the 1/2 of it. I know I went over today, but I'll keep typing what I had. Today was not a good food day.

Snack: I found this new vanilla almond shredded wheat cereal, which was 3 points.

Dinner: 2 whole wheat tortillas, pretty sure they are 3 points for two?, ff beans, corn and diced chicken breast with taco seasoning and a little organic sour cream. I'm thinking that was 6 points, 8 at the most.

Pretty sure I went over about 5 points today. Ugh- I hate it. I wish I could just control my champagne intake during the weekend and I wish that I could just say NO!!!

Hear me, NO!!! ;-)

Tomorrow will be better. I plan on making my snacks and lunch tonight, to help save on time in the morning and tempations. I feel like if I have a lunch pail full of food I can eat, I won't have those temptations. I can already reach in my bag and know that I've already calculated for the day and I'm allowed to have it! :-)

Happy Tuesday everyone....one more day until WI day...not looking forward to it.

**Twinny!! Sean is right! You are gaining MUSCLE woman!! That's awesome! Keep up the workouts and all of your SAVAGE eating!!! xoxoxoxoxo**

Day #39-#41 Oh...What A Weekend!

Hi Everyone! I hope you had a lovely weekend!

I feel so awful. One of my best friends, who has been dating/married to her highschool sweetheart for 10 years!, thinks they might be getting a divorce. I'm so sad for her. She is the rock of the group and to see her fall apart, is just devistating! It makes me so upset to see her like this...just broken! Lets all cross our fingers and hope for the best!!

Food was okay this last weekend. We drank a LOT of Champagne on Saturday night, so that was my drinknig for the weekend! One of my other girls just turned 25, so we had to celebrate! Tj and I stayed home on Friday night and had a movie/date night. It was so great to stay home and relax. Tj went golfing on Sunday and I stayed home with the pup and cleaned. I played with him for a good part of the day and mostly just caught up on my Real Housewives program! :-) It was a leasurly day at home, which was much needed!

Hoping for a loss this week! It's crazy raining today, so I'm sure I won't be out walking around tonight. I might get on the bike when I get home, but quite frankly, it hurts my butt to sit on the seat! :)

Oh- Happy Monday!!

Day #38 - Beating The Scale DOWN!!!!

Happy Friday Everyone!

Like Twinny say's, I'm motivated and determined to 'beat down the scale'! Last night- I had way too much fun. I calculated, even over calculated I think, EVERYTHING! Whatever I put in my mouth, I said it was a point or five points and racked it up in my head.

This morning, I made a potato with 1/2 of a sausage with green and red bell peppers for breakfast and a piece of toast = 6 points. For lunch, Tj went and got me a vegetarian pizza sandwhich and I split it with him. It's 1 slice of sourdough bread, with tons of veggies and a little pizza sauce. It was pretty good! I calculated 5 pointes for it. That leaves me to a salad that I got too, which I calculated at 4 pts, which leaves me for 10 points for dinner which is perfect!

He and I are probably just going to go grocery shopping, test drive some new cars! and head home tonight to make a nice dinner. I'm kind of craving a thick soup, so I might just get some progresso soup with crackers or something. I feel like treating myself to a little dessert, so I might get a candy bar or something....3 muskateers aren't bad! :)

Happy Friday Everyone!!

Day #37 Weigh In Day!!!

Well- I stayed the same. 197.6. I"m moving DOWN from here!

Breakfast: I was starving this morning! I made one slice of bacon (diced), 1/2 tomato and basil sausage chopped, red and green bell peppers and a half of a potato sliced up. It was awesome! 6 pts.

Lunch: 1/2 of a turkey sandwhich from the store, which was 4 points...it had cheese on it.
Snack: One apple which was 1 point
Coffee: 2 points

12 points left! I have a meeting tonight with my co-workers, so we're eating caesar salad and pasta...two of my FAVORITE things! I'll stay away from the bread, which is pretty easy since I haven't been craving it, but I'm sure I'll have a few glasses of champagne and a VERY small portion of pasta and salad. I always over estimate on points when I go out, so I'll be a good girl tonight. :)

Happy Thursday Everyone! Will post more tomorrow....

Day #36 BBRRRRRR!!!!!

It's a cold one out there today!

Last night was awesome. I cleaned the CRAP out of my house and broke into a huge sweat! I felt bad for not working out, so I scrubbed my counters, dust everything and vacuumed and did a ton of laundry! I was spent. For dinner we made turkey burgers and a taco salad..kind of an odd combo, but it was good! Drank all my water for the day. I even opened a light beer to enjoy, but poured it down the sink once I wanted to EAT the 2 points insetad of drinking it! :)

I also made my lunch and was hoping it would fill me up, but it didn't! I bought a sandwhich to help cure my hunger today. I'm nervous about tomorrow, but I think I'll do okay. I have a feeling it will be a gain, since I wasn't so on it last weekend. I kind of let myself go last weekend a little. If I gain, I gain. I'm in a MODE now where I'm ready for the transition and I couldn't have done it without all of you! I'm not really craving that burger anymore and am so aware of what I eat. It took me so long, but I think I'm finally there!

Have a happy day everyone!

Day #35 - Ahhhh 72 Degree Weather!!!

Well, it's already Tuesday! I feel like this week is already flying by! It's going to be an awesome 72 degrees in the Wine Country....so happy for the warmer weather, because it's supposed to rain all next week and be in the 60's! I'm ready for summer, but not for the short shorts and the short sleeve shirts! :(

Breakfast was a hodgepodge! I made a piece of whole wheat toast with a scrambled egg, chopped bell pepper, sausage, onions and ketchup! It was bomb. For lunch, I Have a piece of chicken, chopped tomatoes with Tuna and corn. I also brought a pudding snack :-) That's 10 pointes already for the day and I'll have 15 left to work with. I went for a nice walk/jog yesterday! I was so proud of myself. Only a mile, but at least it was something! I'm going again today and am hoping to push myself to run the entire distance. If I do the whole loop, it's 1.5 miles.

I hear you have to work out at LEASE 30 minutes a day to do cardio. Is that true? I only did 20 minutes yesterday, so felt awful I didn't make it to the 30 minutes. Maybe when i work up to it, I will do more. I just feel like I need to start small first and then build myself up so I dont get burnt out. Right?

Happy Tuesday Everyone! I think I want to make another calzone when I get home! They are delish!!! I'm starving, so the hungry puppy is my symbol! haha :)

Day #34 - Gorgeous Weather!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel so grateful to live in such a beautiful area! The drive to work today was gorgeous. A little bit chilly, but still so crisp and beautiful!

I made a fried egg this morning with a whole wheat english muffin and a little ketchup. :-)

Lunch is plain - Simple Caesar Salad with a sliced orange.

I"m drinking TONS of water today and hope to be motivated enough after work to go for a long walk around town before I go home. It's so great now that it's lighter later!!

Have a fantastic day!

#31 - #33 Happy Weekend!!!!!!! :-)

Hey Everyone!

Friday- I had such a great day on Friday. I was out in the sunshine doing site inspections with the wonderful 86 degree weather! My co-worker took me to the Mumm winery to enjoy 2 glasses of champagne and we sat outside and enjoyed such a beautiful day! Food was really great during the day on Friday and then that night, we made turkey burgers with potato salad. I went over some points, but was concious of what I ate and how much.

Saturday- I had another great day in the sun! Went grocery shopping and came home to spend time with my boyfriends dad, uncle and his brother. We sat outside and bbq'd some sausages and drank a few beers. It was delightful! After they left, Tj and I boiled an artichoke for an appetizer and watched Precoius! What a powerful movie! We got to bed around 11ish and got a great night sleep!

Today- Woke up around 8-9ish and started writing WW recipe's in my new cookbook! I'm super excited to get it started, so I can PLAN PLAN PLAN! It's great tolook in the book for reference and to get everything together. I plan on cleaning today and filling my cookbook with awesome recipe's!

Have a great weekend!

Day #28-#30 Weigh In Today..... :-(

Well, I am up .6. I knew it was going to be a gain with this rough week that I had. Getting back on track Monday felt so good. I went shopping for more summer clothes on Tuesday night and had St. Patty's day yesterday! I made potato, carrot with cabbage and beef stock. It was pretty good for my first time making it! We did it in a huge pot and used our dutch oven to keep it warm. Smelled SO good. I am now a firm believer that I DO NOT like Corned Beef! EW! I had it for the second year in a row and it didn't settle with my stomach and had kind of a funny taste to it! Bleh.

I hope you all had a great St. Patty's Day! I'm at work, so I have to keep this short, but I wanted to extend my sincere thanks to all of you who are supporting me through this tough weight loss journey! Up and down weight, emotions, family members, etc. have taken a toll on me! I feel like having the sun come out has really helped me open up and heal a little! My grandma used to always say 10 minutes a day in the sun, really helps keep you happy!! :-)

Be happy everyone and thank you for being so supportive!!!!

Day #27 - VERY GOOD DAY!!!

Today was a very good day. I woke up feeling refreshed after taking a nice hot shower, put on some Bermuda shorts and a cute top, along with flip flops, and stepped out the door in awesome sun shine weather!!

Last night, I had such bad thoughts at how my eating habits had gotten to. I didn't want to even step on the scale this last week, because I knew I had been horrible at eating. I gave myself a bi-week, even though I know you're supposed to face those fears of the scale and gaining. I just hadn't followed the program and just felt like I didn't care this last week. Well, I had a wake up call this last weekend. Summer is COMING. It's right around the corner. I am NOT going to waste another summer, stuck behind long sleeve baggy shirts, because I am too thick around the tummy to wear something tight. I'm sick of not wanting to go to the lake, because I'm afraid of what other girls will think of me when the fat pale girl tags along! All of my friends are beautiful, skinny and very proud of their bodies and wear bikini's in the summer, so it's hard for me to tag along when I'm very different. I kind of feel like the "ugly duckling" next to them, even though I shouldn't feel that way at all. I don't think I'm an ugly person at all, I just know I need a lot of body image work and work on the inside to better improve my self esteem.

On the way to work this morning, I had an hour chat with my boyfriend about how we BOTH need to change. I said, I'm sick of living this way and I'm sick of saying I'm going to do something about it and then I don't do anything. I used to be 181 when I was on WW and walking every night for 3 miles at a time. I felt GOOD about myself and loved myself. Now, I'm back up 16lbs and can't believe I let myself get BACK to that stage.

I made an agreement with him that he needed to keep the bad foods out, so that I don't have any temptation. He and I looked up certain veggies and fruits to eat to help burn fat, and made a grocery list of what to get tomorrow. I stayed OP today, I think I might have gone over ONE point, and we went for about a mile hike with the dog. It felt so good. I felt like I was DOING something about my weight and about my self esteem today and it only gives me motivation to want to do more!

Here's the scoop of what I ate today!

Breakfast: Raisin toast with a fried egg - It's actually really good! With some spray butter

Snack: Orange

Lunch: Caesar lite salad with carrots, celery and light ranch as a snack or side dish

Dinner: 2 sliced of thin chicken fillets with garlic and a dab of hot mustard and ketchup, baked potato, 3/4 cup of sauteed vegetables and 2oz of pulled pork topped on my chicken. I know that sounds like a weird combo, but we need to go to the store and we're using up everything we have until tomorrow! lol

Before we went on a walk, I grabbed a 1/2 of a biscuit and sprayed butter on it, since my stomach was KILLING me and I needed to get something in there. I baked biscuits from the Bisquick that is lower in calories and healthier for you than the regular stuff.

That about sums up my day! I'm hoping I can be on it tomorrow, just like I was today. :-) I plan on getting to the store and getting the fixings for calzone's! I love Tracey's recipe for calzone's and have been craving them! Thanks Twinny!

Have a great night everyone. I hope your weight loss this week is a success! I'll post mine on Thursday. :) I hope for a loss, but understand if I gained from this last horrible week I had. I left off at 197 and I really hope to be down from that, even just a little!

Day #22 - Day #26 MY GOODNESS!!!!!!!

Hi Everyone! It's been DAYS since I've been blogging. I feel so out of the loop with my personal life! I need to stop and catch up with myself. I'm getting too far gone and am really losing myself by not taking care of my body. I have been eating what I want, when I want and not caring what goes in my mouth. Ugh- I hate it! Ever since my 5 mile getaway last Sunday, I haven't been able to wear shoes since my blister hasn't even healed yet on my toe! It is AWEFUL! It's to the point where I can barely walk on it. It's been sandals, sandals, sandals! I'm really hoping it will be better this week, so I can get my butt out and start walking. I also just got word that my girlfriend who is getting married, already has the bridesmaides dresses in by the end of March!!! AYE. I was measured back in December and was hoping to be down a few inches, but I've either stayed the same or have gained! I'm super stressed about it, but the wedding isn't until June, so I have a little bit of time to trim down. About 2.5 months to go! I'm nervous about it, but I'm bound and determined to not look large in a strapless RED short dress! :-)

Hope you all are having a great week. I'm hoping to collect myself today, since I'm finally home by myself on a beautiful day!!!! It will be nice to just relax.

Day #19, #20, #21 - WAY BEHIND!

So, here's the brunt of my last few day's! :-) I'm sorry I haven't posted. I've been CRAZY!!!!

Sunday: I went for a 5 mile hike with my pup and a few friends! It was BRUTAL. He isn't too trained on the leash yet, and with two other pups, he goes a bit crazy! I was literally pulling back an 85 pound dog for 2 hours! I felt the work out the next day, so that made me happy. It was so beautiful on Sunday. The sun was shining and I didn't have a care in the world. The smell of the lake and the wild flowers was just perfect. All of my troubles, thoughts, etc. were gone for a few hours and it was awesome to feel relieved.

Monday: Yesterday was nuts at work. Right when I walk in the door at 9am, until I walk out at 5pm, it's havoc! I feel a raise coming on, so I'm hoping that will brighten my work path a bit! I went shopping at Target and Ross last night and found some really great clothes that I feel super awesome in. I do wear a "sucker inner" every day to help make my stomach feel like it's normal, so it makes me feel more comfortable wearing "tighter" clothes! It was really motivating buying some shirts. I never can find shirts that fit me and I finally found some actual cute one's that work! Yahoo!

Tuesday, Today: It was crazy. Last night, I was up at 2am until 4:30am this morning with my head spinning with thoughts. Work, weight, summer, being in a wedding, etc. etc. It was crazy. I get these anxiety rushes sometimes and I can't help stop them. I try to toss and turn and think better thoughts, or nothing at all, but nothing works. It only happens when I'm stressing out about things, but for the most part, I try not to.

To sum it all up, food hasn't been amazing, but it's been "ok". I haven't calculated accurately all week with everything that's been going on. I would start and then get off track and just say forget about it, I'll just eat healthy and small portions. It helps, but i still feel awful for not tracking and know I can do a good job when I get in the motivational mood!

Hope you all are having a great week so far. I can't believe it's almost over already!!!!!! Where does the time go?!?!?! :)

Day #16, #17 AND #18!! - Weigh In!!

I am HAPPY to say that I am down 1.2 this week. New weight; 197! I'm .2 away from my starting weight of my new journey. I've been conscious of what I eat and am REALLY really trying to track well. It's so hard on the weekends, but we're staying home tonight, Saturday, so I know I'll be good. Tomorrow, we're going on a 5 mile hike with the dogs and will get some exercise! I can't wait!!! It's supposed to be a gorgeous day tomorrow, so I'm really looking forward to being outside enjoying some sun, while getting a great workout in the woods! ;-)

I have had such a crazy, but amazing week! My mom was diagnosed with Melanoma a few months ago and she just got her test results back from her Pet Scan and her MRI. She had Melinoma cells in her brain, to the point where they couldn't even count how many there were because there were so many, and she's had numerous surgeries on her leg, lymph nodes and lower body to "cut" out the lumps. Her results were amazing! She only has 2 VERY small cells, or they could be scar tissue, in her lower half of her body. Her brain only has 2 VERY small cells, that also could be scar tissue, so she's almost 100% cancer free!!!! She told me this on Thursday morning and we had a nice big pow wow of crying with happiness. It's such a relief knowing Chemo is working and she's almost cancer free. I know she'll have to deal with this for the rest of her life, but at least she's on the mend and doing something about it AND it's working! I love you mom!!!!

Cheers to mom day!!

Love all of you and live each day to the fullest!!!

Day #14 & #15 - CRAZY WEEK!!!

Holy Cow. I can't even explain how crazy the last two days have been!! Tuesday was nuts. I barely had a second to breathe! Tj actually made such a great dinner. He made stuffed chicken with pesto and twice baked potatoes with this broccoli recipe he found online! He only used a LITTLE bit of cheddar cheese and most of it was boiled broccoli with potatoes! It was awesome.

Tonight- We weren't so good. I grabbed a burrito for dinner, but only ate 1/2 of it, which is usually 10 points. I made a PB&J with reduced fat peanut butter on double fiber bread for lunch. I made a fried egg with raisin toast this morning, which is only 3 points, but it fills me up super good! I had shredded wheat as a snack, which had 8 grams of fiber so that filled me up! I stayed within my points pretty well today, only going over a few. I'm hoping for a small loss tomorrow, but am not going to be suprised if I don't. :( I hate gaining! I just really hope to not have a gain!!!

It's Wednesday! New start tomorrow!

Day #13 - Monday Funday!

Today was an okay day...not too much of an appetite and still hacking up a lung! I ate an orange for a snack, skipped breakfast, had my normal high fiber cereal for a snack and packed a turkey sandwhich for lunch. ;-)

Dinner- we boiled an artichoke, haven't had one in SO long, and made a super light mayo and mustard dip that was awesome! Had a lean cuisine casadilla for a snack and a hand ful of reduced fat triscuits. See, I'm not feeling like anything in particular so I'm just picking at things that I am up for! I've been drinking a ton of orange juice and tried to drink a lot of water today, but I only had 3 16oz bottles. I'm hoping to get back to normal, or somewhat close, by tomorrow! I hope hope hope to lose this week, but it really doesn't look to swell.

I'm super bummed...our 5K is cancelled this Sunday due to the weather and my power walking friend bailed! Looks like I'll have to wait and gear up for the other one. It was probably a good thing it cancelled, I can barely walk without coughing like mad!

Hope you all had a fantastic Monday....

FINGERS CROSSED FOR TWINNY!!

Day #12 Feeling Better!!

Finally feeling better!! I was in bed ALL morning, literally until like 3pm! My bf made some home made macaroni and cheese, so I had a few bites of that. Randomly, I ate two pieces of bacon and made a tomato basil sausage with mustard, ketchup and light mayo on a sour roll bread. I've been eating super random, but trying to watch the points...For a snack I ate some popcorn and had an oreo cookie for dessert! It was a super random eating day. i drank LOTS of orange jucie and only about 32 oz of water. Usually, I drink over 100!

I really hope for a loss this week, but wouldn't be too suprised if I gained or stayed the same. Sodium has taken over! lol.

Back on track tomorrow and hopefully will drink lots of water and get back on track with eating!

Happy Sunday!

Day # 10 & 11 SO SICK!!!

OMG- I am so sick. I stayed within my points today, but my body is super full of sodium and soup! :( I'm feeling a little better today, but I'm still really really sick.

Not posting much these last few days...I feel like poop!

Hope you are all have a great weekend! :-)

Still Day #9.....

Well, today was GOOD! I drank lots of water, had enough energy to bake and was able to enjoy what little sunshine we had! It was a good day! Still have a horrible cough, but hopefully that will go soon...

I made tostadas for lunch today and had a nice bbq chicken, vegetable and potato dinner! For a little dessert, I ate 1/2 of a babyruth bar! I know..I know...not very good for the program, but it was only 3 points and SO worth it. It kicked my craving...right in the butt!

I packed my lunch for tomorrow! I pan fried some boneless chicken breast, with sauteed bell peppers and yummy trader joes marinara sauce. It came out a little burned...but that's okay! I'm definitely not a chef! Along with that, I packed a 1 point high fiber snack and a boston cream pie jello! Yummy! 2 points for snacks and 6 points for lunch. ;-) Tj and I might go out tomorrow for dinner, but I'll be sure to calculate prior to going out!

Happy Thursday Everyone! I was a planner today!

Day #9 Second Weigh In. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I knew it was going to be a gain. I could just feel my body being puffy from all the sodium! 198.2. I'm not going to let this get me down and will drink tons of fluids today, meaning water, and will point out everything I eat. Even if it's Saltine's all day!

I'll post later on tonight and hope you all have a fabulous day!! I need to be not sick! :(

Day # 7 & 8! What A Week...

I haven't been able to post since Monday! It's been a hellish week. I am now stuck with a horrible cough and bad cold, so my body is FULL of sodium from all of the soup and Saltine's I've been eating!

TUESDAY:

My Tuesday was okay, just really stressful at work. My boss was out of the office for most of the day, since it was his birthday, so that was kind of nice! It was just crazy with phone calls, event issues and new clients. I stayed OP pretty well on Tuesday, but I know I went over. I've really been trying to write everything down, but then I get carried away at work and forget to! What my twinny always tells me it so PLAN ahead and always write down the points before the day starts, to avoid forgetting what I eat! Obviously, I didn't do that and look how it paid off. I forgot! Arg. I feel like I'm still learning how to change my life, even though I know the program really well. I think it's just hard to kick the old habits and start with new GOOD ones! Right?

WEDNESDAY:
My Wednesday was better. Not as stressful. My mom came back with good news that the doctor's haven't found anymore cancer cells from her neck down! She was diagnosed with Melanoma quite a while ago and has been dealing with that. She had to have a lump taken out of her leg and then a few lymph nodes taken out of her thigh. Once she did that, she had a cat scan which told her she had cancer cells in her brain. I didn't know what to think. They told her she had about 20, so they would do the chemo and radiation to zap those cells gone! She got her results back yesterday for just her body and next week she goes in for her brain to see what's going on. So far, we're on a roller coaster of great news!!! Let's keep that going mommy! :-)

My food wasn't so great on Wednesday. I had an onion bagel all morning/afternoon and packed a PB&J for lunch since I was in a rush to get to work and totally not feeling well. I barely drank any water yesterday, maybe 5 cups, which isn't like me at all. I'm always getting in crazy amounts of water each day.



I'm posting a blog for my horrible WI...yep....it wasn't good.



I hope you all are having a better week than I am! I know TOM is creeping into my life, so I just feel huge! :*(

Day #6 - Droopy Monday!

My poor poor BF is super sick today with a horrible cough and bad stuffy nose! ;-( I'm really hoping he feels better soon and REALLY hope I won't get it!!!!!

Even though it was GORGEOUS outside, I feel like today was a doosey! I just can't stand Monday's. They're always hectic at work and I don't get home until super late! Plus, I"m tired from the weekend, so that never helps...Oh pitty party for me! :)

I skipped breakfast today, well kind of I had an apple!, and packed a ham sandwhich for lunch today with a LITTLE bit of home made chili and 3 points of cooked chicken breast. My work had some of these mushroom turn over things, so I calculated 2 points each for the 3 that I ate! I know TOM must be coming, because I"m rarely hungry and I get these crazy stomach pains and back pains and am not hungry for anything!

I worked my butt off today, so I didn't have time to write this morning. I have a feeling my blog posts will always be in the evenings during the week! :-)

For dinner, my BF was able to cook some yummy chopped potatoes with a TON of veggies and hot sausage links. I'm calculating 12 points for dinner, since I'm taking a larger portion. I need to get in something or I"ll be hungry at midnight and that's never good!



I hope you all had a fantastic day. I'm sorry I'm so bleh, but I really think TOM is the reason for it!! lol.



CROSSING MY FINGERS FOR MY TWINNY TO LOSE LOSE LOSE TOMORROW!!!!!!!!

San Francisco Treat!!! Day #5

Hello Everyone!! We spent a day in the City. It was REALLY pouring down! Kind of crappy day to go to the City, but we still had fun. Went to a burger joint, don't worry, I pointed as much as I could and didn't eat ALL day to enjoy myself!, then walked around the Pier and went to get cookies for my bfd's mom and our friends parents.

Arg- I hate Monday's! I hope you all had a great Sunday! I'm exhausted, so I'm not writing much tonight... :-(

Happy Sunday!

Day #4 - It's SATURDAY!!

I'm so glad to finally be HOME! It was a rough week at work. I started my work out this last week and was so sore, I could only do it once! Sad part is, I was only able to do 1 mile in 22 minutes! I would power walk, then run to the goal I set. I might have run maybe 6-7 minutes of that whole mile and I was done for! I used to walk, when I was at my lowest weight, 3 miles every day...well...almost every day. My next goal is to do a mile three times a week! I know I can do it and I feel so good afterwards, so that gives me the motivation to get out there!

I am setting a goal for myself and am doing a 5K on March 7th with my friends! I have two other girlsfriends who are going to power walk it with me and maybe run a little. I'm so excited, because I've always wanted to do one!!! I'll have to poast some pics after we do it. :-)

Yea for Saturday!! Tj made me a super hot sausage link and his homemade chili for lunch. I skipped breakfast today, because I slept in too late! We're going to do some cleaning and laundry, the usual, so I'll be getting all of my water in for the day and hopefully will motivate myself to take a nice long walk with the pup.

Have a HAPPY SATURDAY!!!

Day #3 - Friday Night!!

My Thursday night was kind of odd. I wasn't hungry for dinner, so I snacked on hummas and cucumber dip, with those small round crackers you get from Trader Joe's! I had the munchies and I carelessly dipped into my weeklies! :( Oh well, must MOVE on!

Breakfast was the ususal:

Fried egg, two thin slices of bread, cream cheese and a LITTLE bit of ketchup. 3pts
My snack is that cereal again..super good! 1pts

Lunch is a whole wheat smoked ham sandwich...yum! 5 points
I also brought a bagged Salsa Salad! I LOVE LOVE LOVE those salads from safeway! Not sure on the points yet.
I made 2 servings of veggies again too. 0pts

Now- Moving on to Friday night!

Friday night was BAD. I shared 1/2 of a pepperoni calzone with my boyfriend and had some light beers. I was suprisingly not very hungry, so I still had a ton of daily points left. I didn't end up having my sandwhich I packed, so I just had a salad and breakfast, which only gave me 8 points used for the day! I used up all of my weeklies, which always happens on the weekend, and all of my daily points. After calculating everything, I'm pretty sure I only went over 5 points.

I always am concious of what I eat and always think of how many points are in certain things and I really try to write down EVERY bit of thing that I eat/drink.

Moving on to Saturday!

THANKS TO ALL OF YOU!!!!!

First Weigh In!

Ok people- I knew it wasn't going to be a good weigh in, so I prepared myself. 196.8 is my starting point and I'm only going DOWN from here!

Breakfast This Morning:
2 Thin Oro Wheat Slices
1/2 Tablespoon FF Cream Cheese
Little bit of ketchup

1 Fried Egg
Little bit of Olive Oil for cooking (Ran out of pam!)
Total: 4 pts.

I calculated 1 point for the olive oil, 2 for the fried egg, 1 for the bread and 0 for the cream cheese and ketchup. I know, cream cheese and ketchup!? It was actually pretty amazing! Just wait until you see what I had for lunch... :-)

Mid-Morning Snack:
I found this great cereal from Trader Joe's that's super high in fiber! 2/3 of a cup is only a point! It's a great filling snack and pretty tasty too.

Lunch:
Two slices of Safeway Whole Wheat Bread - 3pts
1 hard boiled egg - 1pts
1 tablespoon of light mayo - 1pt
1 diced pickle spear

2 Servings of Veggies - 0pts

Kind of weird combo, but bomb! 5pts

Not sure what's for dinner, so I'll post back tonight!

A Fresh Start...

Well, it's February 17th and the day before a fresh new start. I'm starting my first weigh in tomorrow, Thursday!

I was at my heaviest weight about 3 years ago, when I was 219lbs. I started eating healthier, exercising and being more cautious about what I ate, once I saw how out of control my body and life had become. It's SO incredibly easy to gain weight! I knew it was time for a change.

About 2 years ago, I was at my lowest weight; 181.6. I was so proud of myself for coming that far! Well, that didn't last too long. I fell off the weight loss wagon and gained back a lot of my weight. My goal weight is 150 and I'm ready to get there! So, here I am hoping to make a change. :-)

Tomorrow, is a new start!