Day # 70!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had a fiber tortilla with scrambled eggs, salsa and ketchup...BOMB!

Lunch: I have two thin sliced whole wheat pieces of bread with spicy mustard and turkey! Only 3 pts!

Not sure about dinner yet, but I think we're going out so I'll have to plan wisley...which I hate doing! I have 20 weeklies left and my daily, so I should be just fine.

Sorry to write so quickly....I have two days left of work before my big 5 year anniversary vacation trip to RENO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAHOO!!!! We leave next Monday, so my week starts FRESH!!! :)

Day # 68 & #69 Rain Rain Go Away!

My Tuesday was good....

I had my normal 3 point breakfast and a nice big salad for lunch. I Had an apple and a 90 calorie bar for a snack. I skipped dinner! My girlfriend and I went out to have drinks, so I skipped dinner to make up for the points...aye aye aye! It was a lot of fun, but I'm paying for it today... :(

I had my usual 3 point breakfast again and am going to go to the store to get this super WARM caesar sandwhich! I'm calculating 10 points for it, which I know is more than what it is, but just to be on the safe side I'd rather over estimate.

Dinner is going to be two fiber tortillas and a taco! I Have just enough poitns left.... :)


Have a great day everyone!!!

Day #67 Still......

I had a GREAT day of eating!!! I am so proud of myself.

Breakfast: Fried egg with two thin slices of whole wheat, salsa and spray butter
Snack: Strawberries and black berries
Lunch: 1 cup of progresso chicken noodle soup and a chicken breast
Dinner: two fried toastadas with beans, tomatoes, salsa and light sour cream. I also had 2 we gram fiber each wheat tortillas....I was HUNGRY! I'm stuffed.

5 points left for the day! I have skinny cows or fiber one cereal with ff milk...not sure which road I'm headed down yet...

Also, I road my stationary bike for 20 minutes! I was feeling the sweat, but only burned about 120 calories. :-)

Oh, happy day! On my way! Still 200lbs, but I am going to lose next week! I am on a mission and have two months to lose a little weight and keep it GOING!

Day #64-#67 BEAUTIFUL WEATHER!

What a gorgeous weekend. I can't get over how warm it was!

Friday: We went to an AWESOME Giants game!! It was really great weather taking the ferry over and wasn't too cold that night! We didn't get a snuggie, but that's okay! We had our Giants apparel on and had a great time anyway.

Saturday: We enjoyed a beautiful day at home in the morning and then made a trip over to Fairfield for Costco! That was a blast. Tj had to buy some stuff for his golf tournament that's going on this weekend. We went over t my friends house and hung outside and drank margarita's. It was very relaxing...we got home by 11:30, so it wasn't a late night.

Sunday: I layed out in the sun all day! I cleaned and cleaned and played with the pup outside for a while. It was another relaxing weekend....

Today is officially 2 months until i have to sqeeze into a bright red dress! I'm nervous and I haven't picked it up yet, so I have no idea if it will even fit now. She got me one size smaller, so I'm hoping it will fit! 16-18 is the size and last time she had to order me a sizze 20 and I'm the same size as last August... :(

Happy day everyone...

Day #60-#63 Happy Earth Day!!!!

It's been a rough week. Monday and Tuesday were okay, but yesterday was a disaster. I met with my friend to tell her about her husband cheating on her with my best friend, five years ago. She had found out from my friend and needed to get reasurrance. I feel awful, but what was I to do? I couldn't break a relationship like that or a marriage. Plus, 5 years ago I didn't know her or him. It's just a totally f'ed situation!!!! I've been a stress ball, crying mess and emotionally distraut for the last 3 weeks. What a road to hit!

It's Thursday and it's Earth Day! I wish I could have walked to work, but my drive is 45 minutes! lol- that would have taken me forever!

I'm hoping for a loss next Monday, but wouldn't be suprised if I stayed the same or even gained some. I've been an emotional MESS!!!!

Day #59 - Weigh In Change

OK, I think I'm going to change my WI day's to Mondays. I always feel like Monday's are a fresh start, so I'm hoping that will help me get through the week easier!

I'm 200lbs....:(

Today's Menu:

Breakfast: Fried Egg with whole wheat toast and spray butter = 3
Lunch: Fat free thousand island dressing, bacos, tomatoes, romaine lettuce and croutons = 4

Snack: Carrots = 0 (Didn't have very many)
Coffee: Fat free mocha = 3

Dinner: BBQ Boneless chicken breast, baked potato, sour cream/salsa, boiled veggies = 10

Dessert: Fiber 1 cereal, chopped banana, sliced strawberries and fat free milk = 6

Over 1 point...

Today was a pretty good day and tomorrow will be better!

:-)

Day #55-#58 (Weigh In)

Wow! I feel like it's been weeks since I"ve been able to write. Here's a breakdown of the last week I've had!

Thursday: Bad weigh in day. I'm 200lbs. I never thought I could disappoint myself so much in my life and I did. 200lbs. Really? Why and how could I do this to myself! Moving on...

Friday: This was a really busy day at work. I mean, busy! Good news though...we finally got our tax refund back! It took a while, because we had some missing information when we filed, but we finally got it! Our first time home buyer credit was granted to us and we had about a thousand in write offs. Afterwards, we went and celebrated with some friends which was really nice and we were home by 11:30pm and I was pooped.

Saturday. Very exciting day! It was my first trip ever to IKEA! Never had I ever gone before and I loved it. I had a mental breakdown though, when we got to the mirrors. Just looking at myself in the mirrors made me feel so disgusted. I was sickened at what I was looking at! My friends are supportive and always tell me how I'm beautiful on the inside out, but I just don't feel it. Saturday night, we went over to a friends house for a BBQ for his birthday. Surprisingly, all I had was a little breakfast, a few nibbles on some Chinese chow mien and a few bites of some appetizers. I just wasn't feeling hungry after looking at myself and feeling so fat for the last few days. It's been overwhelming, this feeling. I can't sleep and when I do sleep, I wake up unrested. Totally sucks!

Sunday: I stayed home and enjoyed such beautiful weather. It was amazingly gorgeous outside. I took all of my IKEA finds and decorated the house, cleaned and layed outside for a bit. We're trying to rip out some tile in our downstairs bathroom, so I got a little workout when I was hammering the crap out of the walls! It felt great and my hands/arms were shaking afterwards!

I'm looking forward to tomorrow, because I'm going to hit the track with some friends. I'm not going to worry about running the whole time, or even part of the time, because it's not worth it. I'll do what I can DO and I can't let other people judge me or think they're judging me. I over analyze everything and need to stop. So, THERE! :-)

My friend is progressing with this whole divorce thing...but it's still really sad. she and I had a meltdown on the way home on Saturday night, when it was just the two of us, so I know she's still hurting so badly inside. Ugh- Totally sucks that I can't take this pain away from her.

Hope all of you are doing well.....

Day #53 & #54 - Feeling Better!

Well, things are better over here! My friend is starting to get more pissed about this whole divorce situation, so she's progressing!

Tuesday was a crazy day at work. Totally nuts! My food has been pretty good this week, but definitely not what it should be. I'm nervous about this WI, but am going to take it as it is. I went for a 1.5 mile walk yesterday with a friend of mine at the track. Boy, that felt good. Even though we were chatting and sweating only a little, it was nice to get OUT and do something productive with myself! Afterwards, we went to checkers for dinner for Tj's moms birthday. I got a vegetarian calzone and only ate 1/4 of it! I packed 1/2 of the rest of it for lunch today and Tj and I split it. I made some 99% fat free popcorn for a snack and a breakfast burrito with a fat free tortilla. Already on my 3rd bottle of water, so wer'e good there too!

Hope you're all doing well.....

Day #52 - Super Nervous for Tuesday....

Today was a much better day emotionally, but I am still exhausted. Food was really good today. I made an egg muffin, packed a HUGE salad for lunch and some cereal for a snack. I didn't have dinner..I just wasn't hungry. I munched on some chips, very few, and some 99% fat free vegetarian chili with some sour cream and melted provolone cheese. I only had a little. I drank all of my water I needed for the day and just basically relaxed when I got home at 6:15. I have just been drained and I can't snap out of it. I need a good nights sleep to help make this week go by.

So, I'm really nervous. My two friends, one of which is getting the divorce, go to the track every day after work. Usually about 3-4 times a week. They run a full mile without stopping, maybe even 2, and they want me to join them. I can barely run 1-2 laps without dying. I'll run with them, but then I know I'll be walking by myself afterwards and feeling like a loser. I know they'll be supportive, but they're the type of girls to get a LITTLE bit of satisfaction out of it that they're in great shape. I know one of them will say...oh, poor girl, she can't even run a lap without dying! It sucks, and they are my best friends, but I know how they can be. It's not like they mean to be rude, but I just know what they would be thinking. If that makes any sense! ha ha, it's hard to explain.

Anyway, I'm hoping to not lose sleep over going for a run with them tomorrow, so we'll see how it goes. I'm kind of freaking out a bit, and I shouldn't be, so tell me not to be! ha ha, need reassurance!! :)

Hope you're all having a great day/night and I"ll try and write more tomorrow. I need to snap out of this eat whatever I want and feel sorry for myself PHASE!!!!

Day #46-#51 EMOTIONALLY DRAINED....

Well on Thursday morning, my best girl told me she and her husband (after having an 11 year relationship, but only married 1.5), is getting a divorce. He cheated on her on quite a few occassions and he's just now telling her about it. It has been SUCH an emotional roller coaster the last few days. I'm mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted for her and can't believe she has to go through all of this. I haven't cried so much in my life! Just seeing her so upset and not being able to help her fix things, really sucks. We've been there for her every night since she's found out, and I have to say, she has improved drastically. We went to her house yesterday to clear everything out and move to her parents house. She has tons of wedding gifts that were still in the boxes and a ton of furniture. She took everything nice and left him with crap. She cleaned him out. The really sucky part of yesterday, was he was in Reno with this girl he's been cheating on her with! She was disgusted and just felt sick to her stomach. After she's starting to tell everyone about it, I see it getting easier and easier for her little by little...She was finally able to sleep last night, which really made me feel good. She hasn't been sleeping or eating and just looks so weak. Ugh! Men suck sometimes!

i'm starting to work out next week, but I honestly can barely roll out of bed at 7am and I have to be at work at 9! we have a 45 minute drive to work every day, so it's tough to get home late and get up early. I literally get home around 6:00 every night and by the time I'm done with dinner, laundry and relaxing for 20 minutes, it's time for bed! I think if I started a routine of working out for an hour during work, it would help me not think about having to work out in the morning or after work when I'm exhausted. You know? I think it will be easier for me to take a break from work and get out there to do my normal power walk/run. I'd love to start this next week, but I'm freaking out about the warm weather. I hate when it's swealtering outside and I need to work out! I would love to buy a treadmil and work out in an air conditioned room! I know if I had a treadmil, I would be on that thing like crazy. Nobody can see me, I'm in the comfort of my own home, etc. That's all I worry about. I just need to buy one and get it over with!

I may not be blogging as much, since all of this craziness is happening with my friend, but i'm going to try to keep it together with my weight. I'm not doing good at all with my eating and I know I need to get back on it before I completely lose control....

This rain sucks! :(

Day #44 & #45- Happy Egg Day!!!

Yesterday was fun. I baked ALL day!! I made homemade biscuits, cupcakes with snickers melted in the middle (and I didn't even eat one!) and Tj deep fried a turkey and made a lower fat scalloped potato dish. It was awesome! Snacking was a bit tough, but I made sure I stuck with the olives, carrots and tomatoes and stayed away from the awesome garlic cheese dip my mom makes! I had a few nibbles....but was careful with my portions.

I have been trying to meet a goal each day to drink 5, 12oz water bottles full of water to keep me flushed out! Sunday, I maybe had 3 so I didn't meet that goal. Usually at work, it's a ton easier for me to drink water since I suck it down like nobody's business! Plus, it gets me up out of my chair to walk down the hall to the kitchen, so I'm not sitting on my butt all day!

I hope you all had a great Easter....I was feeling crampy yesterday and Aunt Flow somewhat visited this morning, Monday, so I'm sure my WI will be a gain. I feel SO incredibly puffy! Last night, I felt like I swallowed my neck! lol, it was intense. I would sit down in a chair and I just felt HUGE. LIke I ate a salt lick and it all settled in my belly! Bleh. It's that lazy feeling...

I packed my vanilla almond shredded wheat for breakfast, since I usually don't feel hungry when Flow is in town...kinda nice! I only get WEIRD cravings beforehand and eat like a horse!!!

I made a ham sandwhich for lunch and packed some carrots for a snack. I also packed a little bit of turkey left over from last night. We'll probably make some turkey tacos or turkey sandwhiches for dinner tonight, to try and use that stuff up. ;-)

Happy Monday!

Day #43 & #44 - YAHOO FOR THE WEEKEND!!

We stayed home on Friday night and watched that 2012 movie...super intense! Really over dramatized, but definitely interesting. It really makes me wonder, but I know nothing like that will ever happen. I've seen so many blogs on 2012 and what's going to happen, but it's all personal opinions, not anything based off of facts. Live life always like tomorrow is the last day, that's my motto!!!

Today, Saturday, Tj got up REALLY early to go golfing in this tournament with a few of his friends. He loves to golf and has so much dedication, but I would never get up at 6am on a Saturday! I guess if I had a hobby like that to do, then I would, but I was exhausted. I slept in until 10am with my pup and woke up to a beautiful day outside! It's still super chilly out, but nice when you sit in the sun. I'm going over to a friends house later, so that should be fun! We'll probably just have a few beers and relax. We have to get the house and everything ready for the family to come over on Sunday, which isn't until 5:30pm, so that will help give us some more time to prep. We're having a Thanksgiving Easter! Turkey, mashed potatoes and home baked biscuits with a nice salad. Tj loves to deep fry the turkey, so he will have fun doing that. It's SO incredibly good! I'll be portion conscious tomorrow.....for dessert, we're having diet root beer and low fat vanilla ice cream floats!! :) Cant' wait!

Happy weekend everyone!

Day #41 & #42 - April Fool's Day!

Well, we're heading in to the 40's for how long I've been on this struggle with the same weight and, yet again, I'm the same as last week. 197.6. I have been home the last two days and not working, just feeling like I needed a break! It's been nice to be at home, deepcleaning and playing with the pup. The boyfriend has been working, so he's been gone all day too, which I hate to say, it kind of nice! :)

Thursday-

Breakfast: Diced up potato with green bell peppers, fried egg and a piece of toast. I had some ketchup on my potatoes, but I didn't realize it's 30 calories for two tablespoons! My breakfast came out to 7 pointes, which is huge for my mornings. I always try to keep it 5 and under. I drank two 16oz things of water and am going to eat well all day today. I might take my pup for a walk, to get in a little exercise. Otherwise, it's another day at home cleaning and hanging out on the couch! Gosh I feel so lazy, but it feels so good to relax!= 7 points

Lunch: Kind of a weird lunch....I had like 4 servings of veggies and melted some ff cheese on them...super good.I also had a 1/2 cup of vegetarian 99% fat free chili with a piece of bread...really good. = 5 pointes

Snack: I had a huge bowl of this new almond vanilla shredded wheat with ff milk....awesome!! = 7 pointes (I know, but it was worth it!)

Dinner: I have 6 points left for dinner...

Happy April Fool's Day!